


under your skin

by Tuometar



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel True Forms (Supernatural), Cuddling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, I wanted to read this not write it but here we are, M/M, Other, Post 15x08, Sort Of, focusing on the comfort, reference to soulbonding, soft, the author has not seen past season 10 but I tried to keep it canon compliant, touch-starved Adam, trueform! Michael
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:33:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23752396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tuometar/pseuds/Tuometar
Summary: “Skin-hunger” he typed into the search bar.Adam could feel Michael’s mind pressing against his, very alert, trying to understand.They skimmed some of the answers and the pieces started to fall in place for Adam."People need to touch each other?” Michael asked clearly highly concerned. Adam felt his anxiousness. Michael couldn’t fix this, couldn’t provide this. He could wrap his grace around Adam’s soul all day, but he had no separate body, no arms to hold Adam in.OR: Adam and Michael have to come up with peculiar solutions to fulfill the needs of a human body.
Relationships: Michael/Adam Milligan
Comments: 16
Kudos: 118





	under your skin

**Author's Note:**

> I always knew it was going to be one of these rarepairs that would get me to post something. I have not watched beyond season 10 besides of course 15x8 where these two slam-dunked me back into this fandom. I apologize for inaccuracies relating to my gaps in knowledge.  
> A huge thank you to [cobaltbeam](https://cobaltbeam.tumblr.com/) who graciously allowed me to use this amazing [artwork](https://cobaltbeam.tumblr.com/post/613499108253171712/you-will-be-my-guide) as an inspiration for Michael's trueform. This started as just a touch-starved Adam idea but once I saw that I couldn't get it out of my mind.

It was strange to be back among other humans. Adam had spent ten years with no other physical company. Michael had appeared as a vision outside of Adam’s body like he still did sometimes, allowing Adam to read his body language and literally getting out of his head, but beyond that Adam had been alone. Michael and he had saved each other in the Cage, there was no doubt about that, they had clung to each other in their solitude, Adam had done his best to keep Michael sane and focused, and Michael had protected and shielded Adam from the horrors of hell and his brother to the best of his ability. But now, when they were out again, and there were others around Adam felt that there were needs that had been severely unattended in the Cage.

Whenever Adam was in public, he felt wholly separated from the people around him. The feeling was somewhat warranted as he was walking around sharing his body with an Archangel, but it felt somehow bigger than that. Adam felt profoundly lonely sometimes when he looked at other people and how they all seemed to part of the world in some way that Adam no longer was. It was strange and stupid to feel lonely while sharing a body with another being, but so it was.

Michael was worried about him. The angel didn’t pry and tried his best to give Adam his space, but whenever that deep melancholia settled around Adam, he could feel Michael’s consciousness brush against his mind, questioning and concerned. Michael would wrap his grace around Adam’s soul trying to soothe and comfort, trying to shield Adam from hurt he didn’t understand. It felt very close to what Adam wanted, needed, but it wasn’t quite it. Adam wasn’t sure what was happening, was it an after effect of hell? He felt sad and anxious without any reason, Michael sometimes had to put his mind to sleep when Adam couldn’t make himself do so.

It was very strange. He should be happy; he was out of hell and attached to an all-powerful being capable of catering to and actually willing to cater to all his needs and wants. But there was something missing and Adam couldn’t put into words what it was. He ached for something more and more and he couldn’t name it. Michael was getting quite distressed about it, but he couldn’t offer much beyond soothing words and soul cradling. His knowledge of humans and human needs was lacking, to say the least.

It all came to ahead one Tuesday evening when Adam was walking on the street of a Spanish coast town. He and Michael had been spending their time mostly hopping around the world, there were some benefits of being an Archangel’s vessel that were too good to pass. Adam meant to settle down somewhere soon enough, but after his time in the Cage he couldn’t help but feel that he needed to see the world more, and it wasn’t like Michael couldn’t get him anything or take him anywhere he wanted to go. And he also spoke every language fluently so there was no barrier to traveling a bit.

Adam had been feeling good that day. The town was beautiful, the food was amazing and the now setting sun had been warming him all day. Adam was walking around looking at the old buildings bathing in the golden tones of sunset when he noticed a dog running towards him followed by a red-faced woman loudly yelling for the dog whose name appeared to be Luna. Luna’s leash was dragging behind it as it merrily sprinted down the street. Many stopped to stare at the dog, but none had the presence of mind to catch it. Adam, with the reflexes of an Archangel on his side, quickly scooped the dog into his arms before it could slip past him.

The woman caught up with him quickly seeming as much out of breath as the dog was. Adam set the dog back down and handed the woman the leash as she was thanking him profusely. Suddenly Adam found himself being crushed into a hug. The woman was pressing against him, her hands touching Adam’s bare neck. The touch seemed to burn Adam, it made him jerk in surprise, he was spinning, dizzy. He felt like he might cry. He couldn’t think. The sudden surprise of it made him so unbalanced that it was easier to slip away and let Michael take over. Their transitions were luckily so smooth that it went unnoticed by the woman.

Michael was clearly worried about Adam, but handled the woman well enough, patting her stiffly on the arm once he was released from the hug and assuring her that all her thanks were perfectly needless.

“Adam?” Michael called in their mind as soon as the woman had waved her goodbyes.

“I’m fine” Adam tried to assure him, still reeling, what was even happening?

Michael didn’t seem convinced.

“Let’s just go back to the hotel” Adam pleaded. He could still feel the skin of his neck tingling though it was more distant now that he was no longer in control.

Michael tried to soothe him, once again surrounding his soul tightly with grace, but other than that he let Adam gather his thoughts in peace. By the time they closed the door of their hotel room, Adam felt more settled. And he had an idea of what was going on. Michael sat their body on the chair in the balcony overlooking the ocean and Adam whipped out the new smartphone he had taken great pains to master.

“Skin-hunger” he typed into the search bar.

Adam could feel Michael’s mind pressing against his, very alert, trying to understand.

They skimmed some of the answers and the pieces started to fall in place for Adam. It was all he had been feeling for a while now.

“People need to touch each other?” Michael asked clearly highly concerned. Adam felt his anxiousness. Michael couldn’t fix this, couldn’t provide this. He could wrap his grace around Adam’s soul all day, but he had no separate body, no arms to hold Adam in.

“I guess they do,” Adam said, closing the tabs.

There was a silence, neither of them had any solutions. Adam still felt a bit tingly, but also suddenly very drained and tired.

“You should sleep,” Michael remarked. Adam smiled at the tinge of worry in the comment, who would have thought that Archangel Michael, God’s loyal soldier, would be such a mother hen? He felt a burst of fondness bubble inside him, and Michael’s grace seemed to cling to his soul tighter than before.

“I don’t know if I can” Adam answered honestly.

“Should I help you?” Michael asked, he always asked before putting Adam to sleep.

“Yeah” Michael pressed against Adam’s mind carefully lulling it into oblivion.

*

Adam woke up in the bed of the hotel room. Adam no longer needed to eat or drink or even really sleep, but he preferred to do those things and sometimes when he was sleeping Michael didn’t have anything special to do so he would let their body rest as well so Adam could wake up comfortably.

“I have been thinking,” Michael said as a greeting when Adam’s mind was clearing from sleep fogginess. “I think I should look for a vessel”

Adam went cold and was suddenly wide awake. Michael was leaving. He had promised he wouldn’t. He had promised they were going to face this new world together.

“No no nothing like that” Michael seemed alarmed in the face of Adam’s fear. “I am not leaving you” he assured. “I just think I should have a temporary vessel on hand so we can meet your needs”

Adam needed a while to calm himself and mull over that statement.

“I do not know how often people need to have physical contact, but I am sure we can find a willing vessel who can hold me for short periods at a time in order to arrange that.”

“You want to possess some poor bastard just to have cuddle sessions with me?” Adam huffed, amused.

“It appears that it is something you need, and I want to take care of you Adam, give you what you need” Michael sounded very serious.

Adam’s mind suddenly went to all sorts of things in which a Michael outside of their shared body could be useful.

“Sounds like a reasonable idea,” he said after a pause.

Michael seemed satisfied. “This may take time though, in the meantime, there is something more… unorthodox… I would like to try if you are open to it”

“What is it?” Adam asked his curiosity piqued.

“It is possible I could physically touch you if I manifested my trueform into this dimension”

Adam was quiet for a beat. “Your trueform? As in six wings, animal heads, millions of eyes, trueform?” Adam was highly curious now; he had seen Michael's true form only in a glimpse once before Michael had possessed him “Could I even look at it?” He continued, from what he remembered hearing looking at angels usually didn’t pan out too well for humans.

“You and I are bonded, I have tied my grace to your soul, looking at me could not hurt you” Adam always felt a bit awkward when Michael made such big declarations so casually. Michael seemed to misinterpret the awkwardness as he continued. “Of course, if you would rather not, we do not have to. I understand that the concept of looking at my trueform can be somewhat daunting and undesirable to a human”

“What? No no…” this time it was Adam trying to dissuade Michael's despondent tone. “I do want to, I definitely want to try that, if we can. But how would it even work? Where could we even do it?”

“I have that figured out, let’s just check out from here and I’ll take us there”

Adam couldn’t help the smile that was spreading on his face. This was new and exciting and also, he felt, intimate. Michael was trusting him with another part of himself, even after all these years there was more to learn.

They made quick work of clearing themselves out of the room. Adam slipped on the back bag that held all of his earthly possessions, a few extra clothes, some souvenirs from memorable places, sunglasses and a phone charger, and they were on their way. They slipped into a back alley so Michael could fly them to their destination unnoticed. “Zip up your coat, it is not as warm there” Michael fretted. Adam did so, rolling his eyes. And they were off.

*

Adam still wasn’t used to the sensation of flying and he kept his eyes tightly shut until he felt solid ground underneath his feet.

They were surrounded by tall pine trees. Michael was “standing” next to him in a clearing.

“Where are we?” Adam asked looking around.

“In Siberia, there is no one around for miles and miles, it should be relatively safe for me to show myself here” Michael answered casually.

“Huh, I can honestly say that I have never been here before” Adam was still looking around him in amazement.

“Considering the low density of human population that is not very surprising,” Michael said peering around scanning for signs of life.

Adam smiled. “So… what now?”

“I will have to leave your body and manifest myself. I should perhaps… warn you … “ Michael sounded a bit hesitant. He wasn’t meeting Adam’s eyes “As you know angels can look rather unsettling to humans so if you are uncomfortable at any point just tell me”

Adam was at a loss for words, Michael was very rarely uncertain about anything. It suddenly hit Adam that he was about to _see_ Michael. Truly see him, as Michael saw himself. Of course, Michael felt unsure and even _shy_ about it. It was terrifying to lay yourself open in front of someone, to be vulnerable like that, though Adam wasn’t sure how to attach vulnerable and an angel’s true form into the same thought. Adam hadn’t really considered it before, that he was never really seen Michael. They were close, Michael had seen all of him, he had looked at Adam’s bare soul, and chosen to bond with it. To Adam, full transparency and acceptance with Michael was a forgone conclusion.

“Hey, it is okay Michael, you can trust me” Adam didn’t know if this was the right thing to say but the tried anyway. He wanted to reach out and touch Michael, but that wouldn’t work, it was what they were here for after all.

Michael seemed to relax a bit. “I am going to get out of you now” he warned and disappeared back into Adams's body.

Adam didn’t really know how to prepare himself. It had been a long time since he had been alone in his body.

He felt Michael’s grace uncurl from around his soul. It felt uncomfortable and Adam caught himself chasing after it. He felt even more uncomfortable as Michael pushed himself out of his mouth into the air. Adam’s head was ringing as he looked at the white light that was Michael. The light began moving higher and higher away from Adam, and he felt an irrational need to chase after it. Michael wasn’t going to leave him, Adam had to reassure himself.

The white light climbed high, very high above the treetops, and then there was an extremely bright flash. Suddenly something entirely different rose in front of Adam. He was craning his neck up trying to make sense of what he was seeing. He felt in a deep visceral level that he was seeing something he shouldn’t be capable of seeing. It was hard keeping his gaze focused, his eyes seemed to slide off as if to avoid comprehending the sight in front of him.

The thing was unfathomably large, Adam felt as if he was standing at the root of a giant mountain. Mountain that had huge white wings covered in eyes spreading across the sky and thousands of eyes and, multiple hands and faces. Adam felt very very small as he could see at least three of those faces staring at him very intently.

“Adam” said a deep echoing voice, under it Adam could hear faint whispers of sounds that seemed to slide over him, not meant for human ears.

“Uh… Hi there” Adam tried to look directly into the thing’s - _Michael’_ s - face, or rather faces, but they were so high up it was difficult to see the details.

The ground shook as Michael shifted position, settling into what Adam assumed was a sitting position, he couldn’t really make sense of the legs, there were multiple – or were those tails? One of the smaller hands was lowered into the clearing next to Adam, it broke several trees on its way down.

Adam climbed on top of the lowered hand that was around the size of a football stadium. He remained seated as he was lifted higher. He stroked the palm of the hand. It felt warm, solid under his fingers and sent small shivers down Adam’s arm. His fingers itched, but he couldn’t stop, he was touching another living being. Adam felt a hysterical laugh bubbling up in his throat, how was this his life? He was sitting next to one of the larger eyes on the palm, it was gold in colour, and looking directly at him.

Adam was lifted and lifted until he came face to face with the heads. There were three that Adam could see. He was directly looking at the one in the middle. The one he was facing was the most human-like of them, but it wasn’t human either it was shaped like a human head, but it had no features. Only things marking the face were long slits that emanated a glow of soft golden light. On what could be called Michael’s left shoulder was what looked like the head of a lioness. It had the shape of it but not the colour. The colour of it was shifting around constantly changing, and its eyes were piercing white. On the other shoulder was a head that had the shape of a ram, with long golden horns. Its fur was white and glimmering. All of the heads were carefully watching Adam as the eyes on the body seemed to be looking at everything else. Adam looked back focusing on the head right in front of him. The longer he looked the more he was filled with awe. Michael was amazing.

Adam reached forward to touch indicating his willingness to explore. The lion head moved closer to him. It was even more amazing up-close. The colours in it constantly shifting and glittering. All of the heads seemed to emanate a glow that felt sharper now that the head was reaching towards Adam. Adam’s hand made contact with the side of the lioness’ cheek. It was a bit strange, he had expected fur, but it felt more solid somehow and coarser, too. Adam stroked the cheek mesmerized by the look of his hand moving in the fur. The Lioness had closed its eyes. It looked… happy. Adam felt a bit choked up.

“Michael” he started not sure how to put what he was feeling into words. “This is amazing” he settled for. “You look beautiful” Adam heard his own voice get softer. “And so badass” he hastily added. The lioness let out a happy chirp that made Adam laugh out loud. “Yes, you’re a total badass”

Michael slowly opened the lioness’s eyes. “Thank you” said the echoing voice. The voice still gave Adam the heebie-jeebies, but he could learn to deal with it.

“We should try skin-to-skin contact,” Michael said. “Take off your shirt and jacket”

“You have skin?” Adam asked, feeling conscious slipping out of his clothes carefully not setting them down on top of any of the golden eyes.

“Not necessarily, but this might be close enough”. The lioness head slowly pulled back and one of the hands moved closer to him. “Lay down” Michael instructed.

Adam settled on his back next to the large golden eye that was still staring at him as intently as the heads were. Adam smiled up at the ram as the hand moved closer. “Do tell me if it is uncomfortable” Michael sounded very stern and focused as the hand approached and settled one finger on top of Adam’s chest Adam marveled at Michael’s control as the touch was feather-light ghosting over his skin. Adam reached out and wrapped his arms around as much of the finger as he could. The skin of the finger was warm and alive over him. It felt somehow more electric than human skin, but it wasn’t too far off. Adam tried his hardest to push the finger tighter to his chest. It was like trying to snuggle with a giant boulder, maybe the strangest thing Adam had ever done, or at least pretty high up the list.

“A bit closer” He tried to instruct Michael.

Michael pressed down a bit harder, very slowly and gently. “Like this?” he asked. Adam felt himself relax into the warm touch. He felt… held in a very weird way. He was surrounded by Michael, caressed by him. Adam sighed contently and smiled. “Just like this”

Adam didn’t know how long they stayed like that. It was very comfortable; it was kind of funny when considering that he was almost literally under Michael's thumb. But Adam felt warm and safe and most of all he felt connected to Michael in a new way, it was ironic to forge this connection in such a human way while Michael was a gigantic multidimensional being. Adam was at peace laying on Michael’s palm under his gaze. He felt lighter than he had in a long while.

Eventually, he looked up at the enormous lioness leaning closer to him and said “As much as I like this, we have to stop before someone sees us”

“You’re right” Michael said, but if Adam could cipher the tones of that echoey voice he sensed a hint of reluctance.

“Thank you for sharing this with me” Adam said reaching to stroke the lion’s colourful fur one more time. The lion head leaned into the touch. “We have to do this again sometime”

“We will” Michael sounded pleased. He began to lower Adam back to the ground. Adam felt stiff as he climbed out of the hand as it settled down. He shook his legs and walked in a small circle trying to get his limbs awake while putting on his clothes again.

Michael was still in his trueform, following his movements. Adam smiled up at him, trying to focus his eyes on the details. Then there was a bright light again and a gust of wind as air rushed to the empty space left behind by Michael’s body.

From high above the skies Adam could see something bright and white searing towards him, and he couldn’t help but to marvel the differences between this and his first possession.

When Michael slid back into the body and wrapped his grace around Adams's soul again it felt like two puzzle pieces fitting together. It felt like a homecoming.

*

Michael did eventually find a vessel strong enough to hold him for short periods. It wasn’t perfect, the vessel was older than Adam would have preferred and the host was a smoker, but when Adam felt Michael’s arms wrap around him, felt lips pressing to his ear whispering his name, he thought that it was pretty damn close.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I am sharing URL so kudos/comments would mean a world to me. Also, I am not a Native Speaker so all spellchecks are very welcome.


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